TODAY was boring. Kate didn't do very much. She sat next to me in an UNthrilling UCAS application talk and did nothing but feel me up and whisper sweet nothings into my ear the whole time. It was utterly shocking. So then I punished her by stringing her up on the nearest wall and whipping her. The head of our sixth form didn't find this to be appropriate common room etiquette so I let her down and gave a friendly hug. That's what best friends are for!!
After that my knowledge of what she did for the rest of the day is a little hazy, due to the fact that I went home to laze about (obviously studying hard as that is what we're meant to do) in my afternoon of free periods. But this is probably what happened:
12.00 - Kate goes to lunch, she is either on a red day or a green day so she most likely has FOOD for her lunch
12.35 - Kate goes to the history offices to carry out her sordid affair with her history teacher, she says that it is FOOLISH of me to think that she is having an affair with her teacher, but that is boring, so she blatently is... (just in case any teaching authorities etc happen to stumble onto this, it's not true, nobody needs arresting)
12.37 - After a suspiciously quick visit, Kate goes to see her boyfriend who will be sat on the wall near the bus bay. After a quick fondle she PROBABLY will discuss dying our friend's man fuzz (ahem) bright pink with the afore mentioned friend, Alexio. This is a deep-seated fetish of hers planted in her head by the evil genius FatigueGirl (otherwise known as Layla)
1.20 - Kate goes to some form of lesson, where learning is advised but not always fulfilled. It's probably History. Nearly always is
2.40 - Kate leaves the above mentioned lesson and goes to play with our good friend Rachel, who will probably have been in the middle of chatting up some unsuspecting boy who she can't remember the name of OR drooling over a fictional character called Edward (yummm) OR just sitting and wallowing in her insane genious-ness, any of these three options are very plausable... In fact she will probably have been doing all three at once
2.55 - Kate has Art now. This seems to be a useful outlet for letting off creative steam. So there you go
4.00 - Her royal breastiness goes to Smurf, her automobile, and transports her brother, Jackford and her friend, Amberlicious, back to their homesteads (with the guidance of the license-holding pensioner, named Abby, who is stationed there to guide her, as is the law these days)
Obviously she will have carried on doing things after that but I am bored of writing and possible brain explosions may occur if I carry on and that would be unuseful and I am meant to be holding a barbeque related suaree a week on Friday. My guests probably wouldn't appreciate a dead hostess.
Yours faithfully, truthfully and slovenly,
Miss Elizabeth Horatio Goodwin Kate Stalker In Chief
After that my knowledge of what she did for the rest of the day is a little hazy, due to the fact that I went home to laze about (obviously studying hard as that is what we're meant to do) in my afternoon of free periods. But this is probably what happened:
12.00 - Kate goes to lunch, she is either on a red day or a green day so she most likely has FOOD for her lunch
12.35 - Kate goes to the history offices to carry out her sordid affair with her history teacher, she says that it is FOOLISH of me to think that she is having an affair with her teacher, but that is boring, so she blatently is... (just in case any teaching authorities etc happen to stumble onto this, it's not true, nobody needs arresting)
12.37 - After a suspiciously quick visit, Kate goes to see her boyfriend who will be sat on the wall near the bus bay. After a quick fondle she PROBABLY will discuss dying our friend's man fuzz (ahem) bright pink with the afore mentioned friend, Alexio. This is a deep-seated fetish of hers planted in her head by the evil genius FatigueGirl (otherwise known as Layla)
1.20 - Kate goes to some form of lesson, where learning is advised but not always fulfilled. It's probably History. Nearly always is
2.40 - Kate leaves the above mentioned lesson and goes to play with our good friend Rachel, who will probably have been in the middle of chatting up some unsuspecting boy who she can't remember the name of OR drooling over a fictional character called Edward (yummm) OR just sitting and wallowing in her insane genious-ness, any of these three options are very plausable... In fact she will probably have been doing all three at once
2.55 - Kate has Art now. This seems to be a useful outlet for letting off creative steam. So there you go
4.00 - Her royal breastiness goes to Smurf, her automobile, and transports her brother, Jackford and her friend, Amberlicious, back to their homesteads (with the guidance of the license-holding pensioner, named Abby, who is stationed there to guide her, as is the law these days)
Obviously she will have carried on doing things after that but I am bored of writing and possible brain explosions may occur if I carry on and that would be unuseful and I am meant to be holding a barbeque related suaree a week on Friday. My guests probably wouldn't appreciate a dead hostess.
Yours faithfully, truthfully and slovenly,
Miss Elizabeth Horatio Goodwin Kate Stalker In Chief
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