Kate's been playing with lions...

...No lies!! Over the half-term holiday Kate boogied off to South Africa to pansy around with some very large pussycats!

Of course I found the whole scenario horrendous.

My dearest darling, love of my life, saucy woman extroardinare had buggered off leaving me to work at the pub and bum around with my boyfriend, (not literally... no bumming actually occured).

At this point I should probably explain why I haven't written anything since, oh, well, September. The answer I would like to give is that my life is so filled with awesome that I just haven't had the time to grace the world with my presence. Realistically, it's because I'm lazy.

It simply is NOT because Kate is boring. She has been doing exciting things recently. We went to see a pantomime before Christmas, we held a suprise party for Layla around the time of her birthday AND Kate has turned into a koala!

That final revelation might come as a shocker to you all. But, believe me, it has it's benefits.

But those are not for now, those are for later. You must all live with the anticipation!

Au revoir, Auf weidersehn, Byeee!

xxx

PS. The holidays are over now, we're back at school again..... It is just as monotonous and UNTHRILLING as it always has been.... Yawn

PPS. You may have noticed words that are blue during the reading of my blog. I pride myself in having spelling OCD, but seriously, those worlds have flabbergasted me and I can't be bothered to look on dictionary.com to find the right spelling...... Laziness x 17

Today was so extremely interesting...

... it truly was. It is just hiding behind a mask of mediocrity to trick you all. But seriously. It was OK.

Kate had a day of personal studies and, luckily for her, music general studies was cancelled (because Steaders is lazy) and so in her free she made me a frog. It was a touching moment when she presented him to me.

I shall call him Freddo. It was meant to be.

I am ill.

As an interesting aside, my name is actually an anagram of ILL (Lil, you see??) and when you say "poor lil" it sounds similar to "poorly". So, to be perfectly honest, it is no suprise that I'm forever ill really now, is it? Or it could just be that I have a really pants immune system because of glandular fever related gayness.

Who knows.

Kate is probably asleep now in her new sheets.

Another exciting aside, lemsips taste a bit icky, but with 5 spoonfuls of sugar they can be quite alright!

Night folks *cough splutter sniff die*



OH, ps, a FINAL aside, my dearest lover man James AND my buddy 'ole chum Rachel passed their theory tests on Saturday so HUZZAH to them =)

Ermmmm yes...

So clearly kate has been dead for the past month and a bit..... But it's ok cause she's alive again now.

We've been up to a lot recently!! Kate went to Centerparcs with her father and step mother and iddy biddy brother and while there she flashed an old man!... We also trekked out to FatigueGirl's abode for a partay shindig; it was pretty ace... Not that I remember much of it.... Ahem.

Me and her Lordship are going to the cinema tomorrow which should be jolly good fun. Oh the excitement!

In her exams she got five B's which I think is jolly fabulous (especially since I got BDBD). Let us all applaud her!

Also.... we went to the Lake District together!! With Rachel, Layla and Lizzy also. It was great fun and filled with joy and excitement. Gotta love it.

Anyway.... OVER AND OUT!! Lil xx

Kate Just....

Read the first post on here, she found it very informative

Day One In The Loser Kate House...

TODAY was boring. Kate didn't do very much. She sat next to me in an UNthrilling UCAS application talk and did nothing but feel me up and whisper sweet nothings into my ear the whole time. It was utterly shocking. So then I punished her by stringing her up on the nearest wall and whipping her. The head of our sixth form didn't find this to be appropriate common room etiquette so I let her down and gave a friendly hug. That's what best friends are for!!

After that my knowledge of what she did for the rest of the day is a little hazy, due to the fact that I went home to laze about (obviously studying hard as that is what we're meant to do) in my afternoon of free periods. But this is probably what happened:

12.00 - Kate goes to lunch, she is either on a red day or a green day so she most likely has FOOD for her lunch

12.35 - Kate goes to the history offices to carry out her sordid affair with her history teacher, she says that it is FOOLISH of me to think that she is having an affair with her teacher, but that is boring, so she blatently is... (just in case any teaching authorities etc happen to stumble onto this, it's not true, nobody needs arresting)

12.37 - After a suspiciously quick visit, Kate goes to see her boyfriend who will be sat on the wall near the bus bay. After a quick fondle she PROBABLY will discuss dying our friend's man fuzz (ahem) bright pink with the afore mentioned friend, Alexio. This is a deep-seated fetish of hers planted in her head by the evil genius FatigueGirl (otherwise known as Layla)

1.20 - Kate goes to some form of lesson, where learning is advised but not always fulfilled. It's probably History. Nearly always is

2.40 - Kate leaves the above mentioned lesson and goes to play with our good friend Rachel, who will probably have been in the middle of chatting up some unsuspecting boy who she can't remember the name of OR drooling over a fictional character called Edward (yummm) OR just sitting and wallowing in her insane genious-ness, any of these three options are very plausable... In fact she will probably have been doing all three at once

2.55 - Kate has Art now. This seems to be a useful outlet for letting off creative steam. So there you go

4.00 - Her royal breastiness goes to Smurf, her automobile, and transports her brother, Jackford and her friend, Amberlicious, back to their homesteads (with the guidance of the license-holding pensioner, named Abby, who is stationed there to guide her, as is the law these days)

Obviously she will have carried on doing things after that but I am bored of writing and possible brain explosions may occur if I carry on and that would be unuseful and I am meant to be holding a barbeque related suaree a week on Friday. My guests probably wouldn't appreciate a dead hostess.

Yours faithfully, truthfully and slovenly,
Miss Elizabeth Horatio Goodwin Kate Stalker In Chief