Did you know? I love you =]

Well my kiddie-piddles, much has been going on but I think all is calming a little now. During the gargantuon break I had from posting we received our exam results (CCCC for me). And then... *sniff* ...everyone left me for university! Kate ran off to Londonia to do her arty college business, Rachel has gone to clever-clogs Oxford and Lizzy has gone to Preston to do pottery! Luckily I still have my Fatiguey, we're both gonna do Uni next year instead. And then mega loads of people (Amy, Laurie, Kelly, Andy, Lizzy T etc etc etc) are doing Art Foundation at Chesvegas college.

So these Unis then.... I've visited both Kate and Lizzy's halls and they're very spangly. Kate has some "lovely" flatmates, who're very "friendly" and she likes them "very much". Ahem.

I got a new job, (cause the old one was a pile on monkey crap), working at a Gift and Bear shop in Bakesville. It is absolutely fantabulous in every way!! The bears are much too cute and I am probably gonna end up buying them all, but they are collectables so I don't think I can really afford that... Oh well.... I can dream...

KATE'S PREGNANT!!!

No I'm just kidding, she isn't. But that'd be funny wouldn't it..... Maybe.... HAHA!

Hmmmmm what else has occurred. OOOOOHH!!!! Something of extreme importance happened yesterday. Major shock value people...... I, wait for it......

TIDIED MY BEDROOM. Yes, it's true, I'm as suprised as you are. I had the help of my Kyle though so I can't take all of the credit. Maybe someone should give that fella a medal.

Anyway I think I'm gonna go have a bath now. Cleanse myself and all that jazz.

Bye bye chaps and chappettes. Much love and many cuddles.

Halloween

Saw Kate yesterday. Oh how I loved it, she's fit. We watched scary(ish) films with our fellas and then went for a walk it was SPECTACULAR.

Los Pinos, Spain! (Yes, late.... WHATEVER!!)

E-mail One. Day two - about the night before =]

"hello mister kyleford

i am in spain

huzzah

yesterday we went out to a club under the pretence that it was going to be a foam party. no foam occurred but i got shit drunk and probably embarassed myself. and i broke a glass. and kate and kelly practically got raped by this gangstaaa. it was ace. and this dirty old man tried to grind with me and i was like ewwwww no ta love. yep.

today i was in hangoverness\sleepyness and stuff but then kate made me go and have breakfast and i had assorted random meats. last night for tea i ate goat. it was quite delicious. and bubblegum flavoured ice cream, but not on the same plate. we did the beach and the swimming pool and the jacuzzi. my hair has dried in an interesting fashion.

must dash vodka and coke is on the table.

all inclusive wins.

parrots tonight!

see you next week!

email you again soon

au revoir
auf weidersehn
ciao
adios"

E-mail Two. Day Two - cryptic.

"forward this to mum i can´t find her email address

all is well and good in spain. went clubbing last night. there wasn´t any foam or giraffes.

lots of love, lil xxxxxxxxxx"

E-mail Three. Day Three - more stuff has happened.

"OK so the original lack of foam was terrifying BUT last night we went back again and there WAS foam, and it was foamy and awesome. I drank slightly too much again, but i wasn´t kerplunked, i was only monopolied. yeah try and work that one out.

we rented pedalo things from our new gangster friend off the beach, he´s much nicer in the day time than he was at the club place.

layla did some salsa dancing with a guy in the hotel. and yes real massive parrots, we have pictures.

there is a jack sparrow look-a-like who works on reception. yesterday i called the reception the pub because i´m stupid.

tonight we´re going to a beach party thing. woop"

E-mail Four. Day Four - to my mummy.

"So! On the first day we did flying and bus-ing and we found the hotel easy enough, mainly because we´re awesome. We went and had a ganders at the beach and wandered a bit and then we had tea, which is pretty good all things considered. Then we sat in the bar and this English guy said there´s a club which is gonna have fam party, so went but there was no foam. But it didn´t matter cause we danced aaaaaall night and it was fun. We made friends with a gangster man, who seemed kinda of pervy when we met him in the club but we met him again the next day because he runs the pedalos on the beach which we rented and he gave us some extra time.

I have taken hundreds of photos!

The next day we did sleeping and stuff mainly, and that was fantabulous. We did some beaching as well and I´m only minimally burnt.

We went to the club thing again on Monday because there actually WAS a foam party, which was very enjoyable.

Last night we went for a wander down all the nighttime stalls and this massive gang of boys tried to accost us, but we shooed them away and then made friends with these Irish folks who took a picture of us for us. Which was very kind of them.

The hotel is really nice, we were all expecting grossness but it´s lovely. And they put a lot of vodka in the vodka and coke! We´re having lots of fun and we´re all very sensible, we even have an attack plan to get rid of potential rapists, I´ll show you it when you get back from Italy.

Lots of love, from Lil

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx"

RAWR!!!!!

So my dears. I am a failure, perhaps this is why I don' t have a huge internet following because I suck at posting. Many things have occured since my last post in.... JUNE!! Let us begin at the beginning then shall we??

James? No, no - KYLE!
Sadly on the 11th June I broke up with James which was very sad and everything. Now, however, I am with Kyle =] So that is who he is.

Phil? No, no - WILL!
Kate, too traded in her boyfriend for a newer model, so everybody say hello to William.

Holidays!
So we went to Spain, which was BRILLIANT (I shall copy in some e-mails I sent to loved ones whilst there which pretty much tell you everything you need to know about that trip). Then we went to Blackpool, which was gooooooood but I felt sick so I went home after the second day with Kyle and Will who had driven up for a daytrip to see us (Layla replaced James for the holiday, but Kate was stil with Phil). Then me and Kyle went to Bloodstock which was AWESOME but obviously that has nothing to do with her lordship. THEN we went camping down south with my brother and his clan, was pretty cool except for Will "vomitty vomit face" Knight who drank too much whiskey and was dead for the whole weekend.

Londonia - the land of tramps and artyness!
So Kate now lives in London, yes this is a rather major occurence in our lives and I probably should have informed you all (yes I KNOW that most people who read this know Kate personally and so you probably know anyway - WHATEVER I DON'T CARE GAHHHHHH GIMME A BREAK). But anyway, yes, she's down there now - it's hard to fight back the tears just writing this.... However, I have visited her twice and she's been back a couple of times so it's almost like she's not really gone!


Well I think that'll do for today, thanks chaps. Au revoir!! xxxxx

Oh Kate.... How I love thee...

I haven't seen Kate since Thursday.... We went to the gym together.... Sweat.... And Exercise....

So we're doing 40 miles for charity, just on the bike, treadmill, cross-trainer, rowing machine etc at the gym, walking places and swimming. It doesn't all have to be in one go so we're quite pleased. I say we're doing it, Kate has done her 40miles I just need to get one more and then I'm done as well. If you live around us, SPONSER US. If not, then you're a loser.

So just a quick message about that really. More interesting, fun and thrillifying stuff later!!

Mrs Lovett... the worst pies in London??

I think so! Kate dressed up as that jolly character from sweeney todd today - we went to a fancy dress party you see, it was most enjoyable and fun was had by all.

The LOS PINOS vest tops and pants are done and they are uber awesome, in fact their awesomeness is equivalent to Ross Noble giving us a thumbs up and screaming "HUZZAH." (That's a LOT of awesome!!)

God I'm lazy..... I think in maybe three weeks this blog might get a bit more action (oi oi) because I will have finished exams and will never be gracing the floors of Lady Manners School again (well except for RESULTS DAY!!!!!) (AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!)

SO!!

That's all for now.... there is sleeping to be done you see!!!

Night lovers!!

Norwich, Spain and Blackpool!!

Kate is in Norwich at the moment. It's extremely upsetting because it means that I can't go and see her and she can't come and see me. It is a completely nightmare situation. She is at her daddy's house swanning around like a swan... Yup.

Me, Kate, Rachel, Lizzy, Layla and Kelly are all going on holiday together in the summer, which is most exciting. We're going to a hotel called Los Pinos; yes, Los Pinos. We're going to get holiday hoodies that say Spain 09 on them and we're gonna get holiday pants that say Los Pinos on the butt. It is the only way.

After my birthday in August me, Kate, Phil and James are going to Blackpool for a weekend!!! EEEEE!


So this was a little holiday update for everyone, because I haven't posted for ages and I couldn't be bothered to think of anything witty and interesting.

More soon?

Probably.

Bye.

See ya.

Auf weidersehn.

Kate = WINNER

Kate has been super awesome, she has been offered a place to do her art foundation in London =) We are very proud of her, she is awesome and a winner.

Liiiiz the Drunkard!

Parties are jolly good fun aren't they. On the way back from our good friend Becky's Eighteenth, me, Kate, Laurie and Lizzy made up a song (sung to the tune of Bob the Builder):

Liz the drunkard,
Can she drink it?
Liz the drunkard,
Yes she can!

With vodka and smirnoff,
Whiskey too,
Cider and lager,
Join the crew,
She drinks all day,
And she drinks all night,
And then in the morning,
She has a...... Headache!

Excuse me have I left my banana in your jumper?

Today Kate successfully booked a holiday (although I did find it, due to being a genius). It is to a hotel called Los Pinos. We wanna have it on a tshirt, it'll be perfect!

Kate... the philanderer!!

phi⋅lan⋅der –verb (used without object) (of a man) to make love with a woman one cannot or will not marry; carry on flirtations. That is all about philandering. Well... not quite... it's interesting that I should call her a philanderer, as her boyfriend is called phil, and she is an anderer... Yeah... True story...

Kate graced me with her presence today. She helped me sort out some farty art for my portoflio of awesome. It was fabulous. And then we had a good chat about stuff and indeed things. And then she went home to eat some food and do some things. And me and my dad had some chinese. It was delicious, thank you for asking.

That's all for now, I have important things to be getting on with. Oooh, a quick note, YAY I seem to have acquired TWO FOLLOWERS. The fact that I know the two people is slightly gay, but I mean... It's a start toward global domination I'm sure!

Funky style, professional formula

Today, being as Kate was still away in London, I spent the day frolicking around with my other dearest chums. It was nice not to be governed by Kate's iron grip and poisonous tongue for a day. Whilst at school I stumbled upon a most disgusting concoction (as seen above and below). It's hair gel. If you think it looks bad now you should have seen it when we mixed sherbert into it...

The Marital Bed

So, it is quarter past eleven at night, *Yes the time on this post probably says different but I tried to change that once and it confused everything so I just decided to ignore it* I am sat, alone, in my extremely confortable double bed, thinking about her lordship and the times we have shared here. For example, the time when, in a dazed, half asleep state she turned to me and said "if t-rexs only see things that are moving how do they avoid walking into trees/tripping over rocks?" Clearly a valid point, and most interesting, but... appropriate as a pre-slumber contemplation?

I think not.

For starters, who really wants to be thinking about such an unusual question just before going to sleep? Not me. Imagine what it would do to your dreams?!?! There'd be dinosaurs tripping over here, there and everywhere! Also there's the problem of actually getting to sleep once you've been set off on this uncontrollable rampage of thoughts. 'Cause that's always how it happens, you're just lay there pleasantly thinking about not very much and then your brain starts buzzing and you have to run around in your pyjamas like a crazed lizard, pulling at your hair and screaming to the heavens!!!

Or is that just me...

I don't know if you've noticed but... I think I might be rambling. And no, ha ha, I don't mean wandering about the hills and public footpaths of England. Tsk! Anyway! I think it might possibly be Lil's bedtime now. So, goodnight, my fabulous and delicious and ever-so-slightly rambunctious monstrosities!!

All the best,
Love Lil (aka God)

To London...

...So Kate has gone to London to schmooze with the rich and famous.

When I say rich, I mean some college people as she has an interview for an art foundation course...

And when I say famous, well, ok, they're probably not famous.

I've just written famous so much that it doesn't look right anymore... famous, famous, famous...

Some asides to keep you busy...

...Rachel passed her driving test also! (Meanwhile, another of our friends failed his for the third time, oh ow!)

...We (Rachel, Me, Kate, Liz, Layla and Diabetes Girl/Kelly) are currently planning a holiday to Spain for the summer! HURRAY!

...I am currently in the middle of a.... mid-higher-education crisis. I seem to be studying subjects I hate, I have applied for courses I don't really want to do anymore and I have probably missed all deadlines to change it all!! Moments of realisation are all very well and good at the beginning of sixth form but when you only have around 3-4 months left it's probably all a bit too late!!!

USEFUL INSIGHT OF THE DAY

"Before you criticise someone, walk a mile in their shoes, that way when you criticise them you'll be a mile away and you'll have their shoes." - Frieda Norris

Kate's been playing with lions...

...No lies!! Over the half-term holiday Kate boogied off to South Africa to pansy around with some very large pussycats!

Of course I found the whole scenario horrendous.

My dearest darling, love of my life, saucy woman extroardinare had buggered off leaving me to work at the pub and bum around with my boyfriend, (not literally... no bumming actually occured).

At this point I should probably explain why I haven't written anything since, oh, well, September. The answer I would like to give is that my life is so filled with awesome that I just haven't had the time to grace the world with my presence. Realistically, it's because I'm lazy.

It simply is NOT because Kate is boring. She has been doing exciting things recently. We went to see a pantomime before Christmas, we held a suprise party for Layla around the time of her birthday AND Kate has turned into a koala!

That final revelation might come as a shocker to you all. But, believe me, it has it's benefits.

But those are not for now, those are for later. You must all live with the anticipation!

Au revoir, Auf weidersehn, Byeee!

xxx

PS. The holidays are over now, we're back at school again..... It is just as monotonous and UNTHRILLING as it always has been.... Yawn

PPS. You may have noticed words that are blue during the reading of my blog. I pride myself in having spelling OCD, but seriously, those worlds have flabbergasted me and I can't be bothered to look on dictionary.com to find the right spelling...... Laziness x 17